I say this to clients a lot, because they often want to believe that every problem originates from some source outside of themselves. It’s human nature to deflect responsibility… basic self-preservation instincts from before the dawn of time. But, that instinct to blame and make excuses doesn’t serve people in leadership positions.
In discovering your true self, the very core energy you project to other people shifts.
Like it or not, there is really no fate for us except the one we create. Churchill very wisely said that ‘you create your own universe as you go along’. Do good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people? Of course. But 99% of the things that come to us in life we manifest based on our behaviors.
The beauty of this simple truth is that we can all change our thoughts and behaviors to reflect our true self. And that alignment of external image to internal reality is incredibly powerful. When you get very comfortable in your own skin and become very clear about your beliefs, character and destiny, people are drawn to you and good things begin to happen naturally.
So where do you begin in getting to know your true self?
Values come first. Values dictate how you relate to other people and the world around you. They guide your behaviors and decisions. Every great leader understands how to balance the fine line between adaptability and rock-solid certainty about what really matters. While you have to be ready to shift and change with the demands of your environment, you also have to know what you believe in so that you never compromise your core values. If honesty is a principle you live by - you can't lie to get a lucrative business deal finalized. It destroys your credibility. If good communication is a something you believe in strongly - you shouldn't withhold bad news from your team to avoid hard questions or dissent. Know and live your values everyday.
Character. Horace Mann said that 'reputation is what men and women think of us. Character is what God and angels know of us.' Character differs from values in that it relates more to our most basic understanding of ourselves than our external relationships and interactions. Character defines your personality and soul at a very deep level and drives the values, strengths and priorities that exhibit in your day-to-day behaviors. Be sure that you never get caught in the trap of linking your character to public opinion or evolving priorities. If you are a kind and gentle person at your core, your character doesn't change simply because you've been wrongly convicted of a violent crime. Although your reputation and even your day-to-day values may change based upon your circumstances, your character always remains constant.
The good, the bad and the ugly. Taking a long, hard look at your strengths and weaknesses is crucial to good leadership. No one is excellent at everything, so wise leaders know how to leverage the things they are good at and fill in the gaps of their weaknesses with the talents of people around them. You can't begin to engage in this process unless you've first conducted a realistic assessment of yourself and built a strong base of self-awareness. Strengths are obviously the fun part! Our ego loves to focus on the things we're good at. But often far more critical to success is our understanding of where we fall short, and our ability to admit our weaknesses to others and elicit their help in making things happen.
Vision. Your life, your work and your goals should all converge around a common vision: a big picture view of the purpose for your life and the primary thing you want to accomplish in your time on this planet. Your vision is your enduring purpose. The fundamental reason for existence beyond just making money or survival. It is a perpetual guiding star on the horizon and does not change over time. In essence, your vision is a mental picture of the future you wish to create through endless pursuit of an ideal. It is love, and passion, and the impetus to pursue that which you truly want most out of life.
I hope that by beginning to view your success or failure ratio as a direct result of your own internal make-up and actions, you will move beyond blaming situations or luck for your present day reality and step into a powerful new recognition of your own key role in determining your outcomes and impact.
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